How to enjoy college parties as an introvert: Top 11 tips
INTRODUCTION
It’s no secret that attending college parties as an introvert might not be the easiest thing in the world. With the holiday season coming up, your friends are probably preparing for different parties: Halloween parties, Thanksgiving parties, Christmas parties… the list is never-ending!
Do you secretly want to go, but the prospect of attending a college party makes you anxious? Or perhaps you’ve agreed to go to a college party just because you couldn’t say no, and now you’re looking for any excuse not to go??
It’s perfectly okay not to go to every party, but going to just a few of them is a great way to socialize and make new friends. (Plus, once you get to know someone, you can continue the conversation over text without meeting them in person ever again… sounds good, right?)
As an introvert, attending college parties can seem incredibly daunting, but don’t worry! Some easy tips in this post will make going to college parties and socializing much easier. Perhaps, you might even enjoy the parties? And always remember, introversion is not a flaw, so learn to appreciate yourself for how you are 🙂
INTROVERTS VS EXTROVERTS
There are a lot of misconceptions about introverts, so I wanted to talk about that quickly.
Here’s what being an introvert does NOT mean: You’re shy, insecure, have social anxiety, you hate people, you’re weird. You can be an introvert AND have all these traits, but being an introvert doesn’t imply that you are all these things.
Now let’s see what being an introvert does mean: You’re generally more reflective, you enjoy spending time with yourself in a quiet setting and social interactions drain your energy.
According to Carl Jung, extroverts gain energy by interacting with others, while introverts spend their energy on social interactions and need quiet time to themselves to recharge. Introverts are more inward-focused while extroverts are more outward-focused. That’s all there is to it.
Introverts’ brains are differently wired, so they get easily overstimulated and are generally drawn to quiet and calming activities like journaling. Just because social interactions drain you of energy or you are not attracted to bright light and loud noises at a party doesn’t make you weird! In fact, 25 to 40% of the total population are introverts, so you are not alone.
P.S.: You can check out this amazing article I found that shows the difference between introverts and extroverts with the help of cool illustrations.
Here are some easy ways to enjoy a college party as an introvert.
HOW TO ENJOY COLLEGE PARTIES AS AN INTROVERT
1) Wear something comfortable
Trying to decide on an appropriate party attire can be a never-ending dilemma. It’s bad enough that you have to show up at the party, now you need to spend time choosing the perfect outfit too?
Well, here’s an easy tip for you. Just choose something comfortable to wear. If you try to fit in by wearing something uncomfortable, that’ll just be another thing you complain about.
Don't Overthink It!
If you’re an overthinker and an introvert (because we know how rare that combination is!), you’ll get stuck in decision paralysis, trying to choose the one perfect outfit for your college party. Do you really want to spend so much time and energy going somewhere you don’t even want to go? Limit your options, set a time limit, and choose an outfit first based on comfort and then based on looks.
Dazzle them with your confidence
Dressing comfortably will also help you increase your confidence levels. So unless you’re comfortable in too tight or short clothes, high heels, and heavy makeup, it’s an excellent idea to avoid these things. That way, you don’t need to focus all your attention on not slipping while walking (if you know, you know!). Dress comfortably, and trust me, you won’t regret it.
2) Go to parties with your friends
It’s no surprise that there are lots of new people at parties. If you go alone, you’re at the risk of being surrounded by a sea of unfamiliar faces; literally the worst nightmare for an introvert. But the solution is simple: always go to college parties with friends! When you’re an introvert, going to parties with friends has plenty of advantages.
You can hang out with your friends
The scary unknown environment will feel a lot less scary when you have your people with you. If you’re a shy introvert like me, you’ll probably just follow your friends around wherever they go and try to act as if it’s not your first day as a human being (just kidding XD).
You can be a listener in a conversation
Showing up with your squad also means that when new people approach you, they approach your entire squad, not just you. This way, the choice of whether you socialize or participate in conversations lies up to you (unless someone asks you directly, in that case, please do not panic or ignore the person!)
You can sit back and listen to the extroverts talk to each other. But make sure that you also engage in some conversations whenever you feel comfortable.
3) Plan for the party but don't overthink things
It’s okay to plan for the party. If you’re scared to go to a college party, you can also give yourself a pep talk. It’s just a few hours of your life; you can definitely survive that! But.. there’s a fine line between planning and overthinking, which we introverts often tend to cross.
Planning and talking positively to yourself about the party can mean saying things like: “I am confident, and I’m going to the party with my friends to have a good time.”
While overthinking can sound like: “I imagine having fake conversations so that I’m completely prepared to talk to people in real life.”
You’re just trying to control things over which you have no control. And let’s be honest, the real-world conversations never go according to what you rehearsed in your head, right? So why spend time and energy on that?
4) Do what you're good at - listening
Here’s a little secret: most people love to talk. They want to talk about their interests, problems, hobbies, and lives. Your natural strength is your listening skills, so follow that. Focus your full attention on the person and really listen to what they have to say. You might learn some new and interesting things.
And you’ll be surprised at how quickly you can make friends when you’re willing to lend someone an ear and empathize with them. This is also one of the easiest ways to socialize at a college party where everyone knows each other. Because people don’t know, they can be more willing to talk to you about different things.
5) Recharge your social battery in advance
If you get easily drained with social interactions, try to schedule some me-time for yourself in advance. Read a book, take a bath, take a quick nap, listen to calming music; do something that makes your soul happy. When you feel fresh and energized, you can enjoy social interactions at the college party even more.
6) plan your time to leave
Just because you’re going to a party doesn’t mean must stay there full time. Know your limits and set a time to leave accordingly. Of course, if you enjoy the party, you can always stay till the end!!
Having an escape plan in place will give you a sense of comfort and security. If you think it’ll help, you can also have a few excuses ready, just in case. Or you can set leaving the party early as a reward for yourself.
So, you can say things like, I can leave after speaking to five new people. Or you can decide to stay for a minimum of some time, say thirty minutes and then give yourself the option to leave whenever you’re not having fun. Setting limits on your time at the party is a great way to enjoy the party as an introvert.
7) Stay away from the crowd
Have you ever felt dizzy or just strongly uncomfortable with loud noises and flashing lights? Don’t worry; you’re not alone. Overstimulation is a very real problem for introverts.
According to studies by psychologist Hans Eysenck, introverts require less stimulation from the world in order to be awake and alert than extroverts do. This means introverts are more easily over-stimulated.
So find a quiet place you can go for some time if you get overstimulated. This can be a bathroom, a quiet corner of the room, a passageway down the hall – any place where you can retreat when things feel too overwhelming.
8) shift your focus
At college parties, it might feel like everyone is talking about you or looking at you and hanging on to your every word to catch your mistakes. Guess what? No one cares. That’s right. No one is judging you for that slip of the tongue or looking at your appearance.
You’re so inside your own head that you start to lose all objectivity. When you shift your focus outward, you will see that there is nothing to be scared of. Remember that people are there to have a good time, not judge you!
I know what you must be thinking; well, it sounds great on paper but how to actually implement that? One thing I’ve found works really well for me is focusing on other people and what they’re saying. Say someone is talking about their weekend plans. Listen to them. Really focus your attention on them and you’ll naturally pay less attention to your often-times catastrophizing and self-sabotaging thoughts.
9) engage in one-on-one conversations
Yes, there is a huge crowd at college parties. But you don’t have to worry about being the center of attention and feeling everyone’s eyes on you. Just because you’re looking to socialize doesn’t mean it has to be in a big group. You can also do that by talking to people one and one.
As an introvert, this is your natural strength. Choose someone you’re least intimidated by and start a conversation with them. You might be surprised by how much you have in common. And even if you don’t, at least you have successfully socialized with another human being. That is sure to make the rest of the party less stressful.
10) Try to step out of your comfort zone
College is a time of personal growth and development. You might have built a life around your comfort zone as an introvert. But it’s healthy to push your comfort zone and socialize with others every once in a while. And let’s be honest; socializing with one unknown person is enough to get you out of your comfort zone.
You might indeed have a rich inner life, but interacting with people in the real world broadens your perspective. Whether you like to admit it or not, there’s a lot that you can learn just by being present at such parties or social situations. And if it feels uncomfortable, that means you’re growing through the experience.
11) it's okay to leave
Finally, leaving is okay if things get bad and you start feeling really stressed. Stepping out of your comfort zone is one thing and being in distress is another.
So do what’s best for you; if you get overwhelmed, you can go back home and chill. And no, no one will talk about why you left early for days afterward. Most people likely won’t even notice that you left. Some people can ask why you’re going home early, have some excuse ready like you’re feeling unwell.
FINAL THOUGHTS
If you’re an introvert, it might seem like the entire world is mainly designed for extroverts, and college is no exception. Parties are a common part of the college experience, and it can be difficult to socialize at a party or enjoy a party as an introvert.
According to Carl Jung, extroverts gain energy by interacting with others, while introverts spend their energy on social interactions. So, please remember that just because you may not have the same interests as most people around you doesn’t make you “boring” and that your needs and concerns are completely valid. Once you learn to accept yourself for who you are, things will only get better for you!
I hope these tips helped you. Let me know your thoughts in the comments below!
If you’re an introvert, what has your experience been like at a college party? If you’re an extrovert, be sure to send this to your introverted friend to make them smile 🙂
Have a great day!
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Great post.
Thank you!